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The Bulldozer
The Bulldozer is the fourteenth prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series. Transcript (ringback tone) Bob: 'Joe's Heavy Equipment. '''Milton: '''Oh! Thank God you've answered! Who is this?! '''Bob: '''This is Bob! '''Milton: '''Bob! I rented one of your bulldozers! I'm on it right now and it's out of control! '''Bob: '''Uh... ''(Milton crashes into a Buick) 'Milton: '''Holy crap! I just plowed into a Buick! How do I turn this thing off?! '''Bob: '''Uhh...what? ''(Milton crashes into another car) 'Milton: '''Oh! Holy-! Gee, I just ran into another car! I was plowing a lot in my residential neighborhood and it's gone completely out of control! '''Bob: '''Sir, sir... '''Milton: '''What?! ''(Milton runs over a gazebo) 'Bob: '''Sir, what-? Sir! Sir! '''Milton: '''Holy-! Ah! I just ran over somebody's gazebo! '''Bob: '''Sir, what- which model is it? Which model bulldozer? '''Milton: '''Uhh...it was a Caterpillar! '''Bob: '''Yeah? '''Milton: '''Eh, um.....D!..D6! '''Bob: '''D, D6! D6! D6! Um... '''Milton: '''D6! And it's out of contr-! ''(Milton crashes through a house) '''Milton: ''(screaming in pain and terror, grunting)'' Bob: '''Sir! Sir! '''Milton: ''(screaming) Hold on a sec! I'm crashing through somebody's house! ''(screaming) ''All I can say is thank God I had a cell phone with me! ''(grunting) ''Okay! '''Bob: '''Sir! '''Milton: '''I'm ou- I'm out on the street now! '''Bob: '''Turn off the ignition! '''Milton: '''What?! '''Bob: '''Turn off the ignition! It's right there on the dash! '''Milton: '''I've tried! The key snapped off in the ignition! It's all bent up! It won't shut off! ''(Milton crashes into another car) Milton: ''(screaming and grunting) I just hit another car! '''Bob: '''Sir, there's a killswitch in it on your left! '''Milton: '''I'm trying! ''(Milton attempting to press killswitch) Bob: '''Hit the killswitch! ''(Milton runs over a toolshed) '' '''Milton: ''(screaming and grunting)'' Bob: 'Sir! Hit the killswitch! '''Milton: '''I tried! Nothing is happening! Nothing- ah! I just ran over s- another toolshed! There are some Girl Scouts selling cookies up ahead! '''Bob: '''Oh no...sir?! '''Milton: '''Get out of the way! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! ''(Milton runs over Girl Scout cookie stand) (Girl Scouts screaming) 'Bob: '''Are they okay? Did you hit them? '''Milton: '''No! I ran over their stand! I crushed their lemonade and cookie stand like a bug, but they're okay! I see them behind me! Okay- how do I turn this thing off?! '''Bob: '''There should be a killswitch right on your left! Just push the button there! '''Milton: '''Wh...what, right here? '''Bob: '''Yeah! ''(bulldozer stops) '''Milton: '''Okay, I got it! Tractor's off! '''Bob: '''Sir....what is your name? '''Milton: '''My name is Milton Fludgecow! I rented this yesterday to do a small plowing job in my yard and now it's turned into my worst nightmare! What kind of defective equipment are you people renting?! '''Bob: '''Defective equipment?! '''Milton: '''Yes, you sch-! '''Bob: '''Sir, you shouldn't even be operating that thing! '''Milton: '''You schmucks rented me defective equipment! I'm gonna file a report and I'm gonna sue your ass off! It's gonna be "Fludgecow's Bulldozer Rental" by the time I get through with you! '''Bob: '''I'm calling the cops on you right now! Goodbye! '''Milton: ''(stammering)'' (Bob hangs up) (ringback tone) Trivia * The Caterpillar D6 is a real track-type bulldozer that began production in 1935 and has evolved up to the present day. Category:Prank calls